I was down the gym this morning when I noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to get my finger in, She,s now made a formal complaint & I,m banned for life !!!
The Butcher at our local Tesco's has just been sacked for putting his dick in the bacon slicer. "What happened to the bacon slicer?" you may well ask, well she got the sack too !
What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
I've got my brother a dildo for christmas.........................................if he does'nt like it he can stick it up his arse.
My doctor said, "How did you get on with those suppositories I gave you?" I said, "For all the good they did I might as well have stuck them up my arse!"
100 Liverpudlians were asked if Britain should change it,s currency, 98% said no, We should keep the giro !!
Was sh*gging this bird over her kitchen table, when we heard the front door open. She said "It,s my husband! Quick try the back door! Thinking back I really should have legged it, but you don,t get offers like that every day!!
Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob ? A. If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts !
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic who had insomnia? He lay awake all night wondering if dog existed
Why is a Christmas tree better than a woman? Because a Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet !
Q Whats the difference between a Woman and a Fridge? A The fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out!
