Why dont you see hippos in trees?
Cause they are really good at hiding.
Cause they are really good at hiding.
**** jokes thread
- Thread starter PINKIE
- Start date
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"Doctor, the invisible man has arrived and says he has an appointment with you"
"Tell him I can't see him"
"Tell him I can't see him"
Nope ... it's because elephants with red painted testicles are already there.
Froggy style sex
Like doggy but you aim an inch higher and watch how far she leaps
Like doggy but you aim an inch higher and watch how far she leaps
.Is Google male or female?
Definitely female as it never let's you finish a sentence without piping up with a suggestion.
Definitely female as it never let's you finish a sentence without piping up with a suggestion.
My mate got pulled over for speeding yesterday and the copper asked him to take a breathyliser... "sorry constable can't do that" said my mate handing over a card that said:
"Registered asthmatic, should avoid polymers"
"Then I'll have to ask you to take a blood test sir".
"Sorry can't do that officer" said my mate handing over a card that said:
" Registered Heamophyliac, should avoid injections"
"OK then sir, a urine test it is then"
"Sorry can't do that officer" said my mate handing over a card that said"
"Liverpool FC Supporters Club Membership - Please Don't Take The Piss!"
"Registered asthmatic, should avoid polymers"
"Then I'll have to ask you to take a blood test sir".
"Sorry can't do that officer" said my mate handing over a card that said:
" Registered Heamophyliac, should avoid injections"
"OK then sir, a urine test it is then"
"Sorry can't do that officer" said my mate handing over a card that said"
"Liverpool FC Supporters Club Membership - Please Don't Take The Piss!"
There is nothing like the joy on a kids face at xmas, seeing the playstation box containing the sock i got him.
Man takes his wife for a trip to the holyland.
Whilst in Jerusalem the wife dies. Not sure what to do the bloke asks at tourist information what he can do.
"Well sir you can pay £3000 to take the deceased home to be buried or we can bury her free here in Jerusalem"
The husband replies
"Think I will pay the £3k and take her back home, last time you lot buried someone here he was alive again in 3 days and I ain't taking the risk"
Whilst in Jerusalem the wife dies. Not sure what to do the bloke asks at tourist information what he can do.
"Well sir you can pay £3000 to take the deceased home to be buried or we can bury her free here in Jerusalem"
The husband replies
"Think I will pay the £3k and take her back home, last time you lot buried someone here he was alive again in 3 days and I ain't taking the risk"
I saw my dad chopping up onions today. I cried.
Onions was a good dog.
Onions was a good dog.
I don't do **** holiday tattoos. I'm always in control
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What's the difference between a circus and the Spurs board ?
One is an array of cunning stunts..
How do you save gooner who's drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Take your foot off his head.
What's the difference between a gooner and a bucket of puke?
The bucket
The bucket
Why did the gooners put his iPad in the blender?
He wanted to make Apple juice
He wanted to make Apple juice
Why did the gooners tip roe past the medicine box?
He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.