**** jokes thread

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Why did the man get sacked from the orange juice factory?




He just couldnt concentrate.
 
Whats the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a badly dressed man on a uniicycle?










Attire.
 
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FosseFilberto said:
A piece of string goes into a bar and asks for a pint. Barman replies "sorry we don't serve string"

String walks outside, ties himself up in the middle and plucks the hell out of bothe his ends. He then walks back in the bar and again asks for a pint.

The suspicious barman says "aren't you a piece of string?"

"No ... I'm a frayed knot"
Click to expand...

Old !

But still funny !!!
 
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first NFL game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
 
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What have women and the police got in common?


Both like to make a ****ing noise, just to let you know they are coming.
 
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