Off Topic Jokes thread

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Diane Abbott was visiting a school when she noticed a boy standing alone on the field while all the other kids were running around having fun. Feeling sorry for him, she walked over and asked:
“You alright?”
“Yes,” he replied.
“You can go and play with the other kids, you know,” she said.
“It’s probably best if I stay here,” he replied.
“Why’s that?” asked Diane.
“Because I’m the bloody goalkeeper.”
 
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