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Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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Pizza and Guinness at the Emirates
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£23
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What is these days - It's believeable and posted time corresponds to the date and post game time
My dad was always a “If you got up there on your own, you can get down on your own” sort of man.
Fantastic father. Terrible air traffic controller.
Fantastic father. Terrible air traffic controller.
I've just made a satellite dish out of a dustbin lid, and now all I'm getting on the TV is a load of rubbish...
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A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, “Next Sunday, I’m going to preach on the subject of Liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark 17.”
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin.
Looking out at the congregation, he said, “Last week I asked you all to read Mark 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand.
Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Smiling, the preacher said, “You are the very people I want to talk to.
Mark only has 16 Chapters.”
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin.
Looking out at the congregation, he said, “Last week I asked you all to read Mark 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand.
Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Smiling, the preacher said, “You are the very people I want to talk to.
Mark only has 16 Chapters.”
I'm making progress with my genetic research with fish that will benefit everyone.
I'm making the world a better plaice
I'm making the world a better plaice
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week.
I rang her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
I rang her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole.
He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.
He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.