Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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Paddy & Murphy are in a pub when a women starts choking.
As she starts to go blue Paddy rushes over & goes behind her, whips up her skirt, pulls her knickers down & runs his tongue up & down between the cheeks of her arse!
The horrified woman gasps & spits out the food. Murphy says "well done Paddy i've heard of the hind lick manouvre but that's the 1st time i've seen it done!!"
As she starts to go blue Paddy rushes over & goes behind her, whips up her skirt, pulls her knickers down & runs his tongue up & down between the cheeks of her arse!
The horrified woman gasps & spits out the food. Murphy says "well done Paddy i've heard of the hind lick manouvre but that's the 1st time i've seen it done!!"
Tesco are selling an empty jar for £2.50 on the homeware aisle.
Yet 2 aisles up you can get the same jar filled with pickled onions for 40p.
Yet 2 aisles up you can get the same jar filled with pickled onions for 40p.
I got chatting to this woman at the bus-stop this morning and she told me that people call her Vivaldi.
I asked her: “Is that because you’re a brilliant violinist?"
She said: “No, it’s because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi.“
I asked her: “Is that because you’re a brilliant violinist?"
She said: “No, it’s because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi.“