Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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I asked my wife this morning, “Do you think the cup is half full or half empty?”
She said, “For the love of god…will you stop wearing my bras?”
She said, “For the love of god…will you stop wearing my bras?”
I’m getting really bored with my job as a sewer inspector!
It feels like I’m just going through the motions.
It feels like I’m just going through the motions.
A bright yellow toad goes to see the local witch because he wanted to be brown like all the other toads.
The witch waves her wand and in a flash, the toad was brown.
He stood in front of the mirror, admiring his new look when he noticed that his penis was still bright yellow. "Hey, what about this?" He asks.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't do that bit. You'll have to see the wizard for that." She replied.
"Where's that?"
"You go down that path there, turn left at the apple tree, follow the trail until you come to an old farmhouse and take the road on the left, stay on that road until you see some rose bushes, then take the second right after the roses. About half a mile down, you will see the wizards castle."
The toad hops off on his journey just as a bright orange elephant arrives at the witches house.
"I want to be grey like all the other elephants" he says, and with a wave of her wand, he turned grey. Looking in the mirror, he noticed that his penis was still bright orange. " Hey, what about this?" He asks.
"Oh, I don't do those, you'll have to see the wizard. "
"Where's that?" He asks.
"It's easy, just follow the yellow dick toad!"
The witch waves her wand and in a flash, the toad was brown.
He stood in front of the mirror, admiring his new look when he noticed that his penis was still bright yellow. "Hey, what about this?" He asks.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't do that bit. You'll have to see the wizard for that." She replied.
"Where's that?"
"You go down that path there, turn left at the apple tree, follow the trail until you come to an old farmhouse and take the road on the left, stay on that road until you see some rose bushes, then take the second right after the roses. About half a mile down, you will see the wizards castle."
The toad hops off on his journey just as a bright orange elephant arrives at the witches house.
"I want to be grey like all the other elephants" he says, and with a wave of her wand, he turned grey. Looking in the mirror, he noticed that his penis was still bright orange. " Hey, what about this?" He asks.
"Oh, I don't do those, you'll have to see the wizard. "
"Where's that?" He asks.
"It's easy, just follow the yellow dick toad!"