- Went on a pleasure trip last weekend.
- Drove my mother-in-law to the airport.
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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- A taxi driver in Manchester was sat in his cab, hands down his pants, doing a routine testicular cancer check, when a gorgeous girl with great big boobs climbed in.
- "How much to Oldham?" she enquired.
- He said; "You can hold "em for nowt, love, if I can hold yours as well!"
Just asked my teenage son, "what work do you want to do ?"
He said "either a plumber or a pizza delivery guy".
I think I need to cancel my subscription to the porn channel !
He said "either a plumber or a pizza delivery guy".
I think I need to cancel my subscription to the porn channel !
Two Feet of snow in Portsmouth.........
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- I was taking a walk along the street yesterday when I bought a copy of the Big Issue from a bloke.
- The bloke said, "Its my last copy mate".I said,
- "Lucky you! You"ll get home early tonight then"
- A tramp walks into a jewellers, puts his hands down his trousers and starts fingering his arsehole.
- The sales assistant shouts at him "Stop what you"re doing and get out!"
- The tramp says "You want to make your f*cking minds up, you"ve a sign on the window says come inside and pick your ring in comfort."
- Paddy says to Mick, "I hear that girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond films has split her fanny open!"
- Mick replies, "Honor Blackman?"
- Paddy says, "No on a dildo!"