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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19441
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19445
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  8. antipodean exile

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  9. antipodean exile

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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19450
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I said "no comment " all the way through the police interview.

    I didn't get the job.
     
    #19451
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    "Doctor, I think I may have ADHD I can't remember where I parked my Ford."

    "That's not how ADHD works. "

    "I keep losing my Focus. "
     
    #19452
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    It’s been a strange day today.
    First I found a hatful of money.
    Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar
     
    #19453
  14. antipodean exile

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  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  17. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Beer – according to 7 year olds
    A handful of 7 year old children were asked what they thought of beer.
    There were some interesting responses, but the last one is especially good.
    'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mum gets.' --Tim, 7 years old
    'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.' --Melanie, 7 years old
    'My Mum and Dad both like beer. My Mum gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.' --Grady, 7 years old ''My Mum and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.' --Toby, 7 years old
    'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much. --Sarah, 7 years old
    'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.' --Lily, 7 years old
    'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.' --Ethan, 7 years old
    'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.' --Shirley, 7 years old
    AND THE BEST RESPONSE 'My Mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.' --Jack, 7 years.
     
    #19459
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  20. antipodean exile

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