1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

Page 969 of 1507
  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19361
    antipodean exile, Jun 19, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,455
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19362
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2021
    devonFRATTONiser and antipodean exile like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,455
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19363
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2021
    devonFRATTONiser and antipodean exile like this.
  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19364
    antipodean exile, Jun 20, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19365
    antipodean exile, Jun 20, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19366
    antipodean exile, Jun 20, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19367
    antipodean exile, Jun 20, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19368
    antipodean exile, Jun 20, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19369
    antipodean exile, Jun 20, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19370
    antipodean exile, Jun 20, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.

  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19371
    antipodean exile, Jun 20, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,455
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19372
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2021
    antipodean exile likes this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,455
    Just spotted Sinead O'Connor bird-watching.
    I asked how she was getting on.
    She said, "so far it's been 7 owls and 15 jays"
     
    #19373
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2021
    antipodean exile likes this.
  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19374
    antipodean exile, Jun 21, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19375
    antipodean exile, Jun 21, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19376
    antipodean exile, Jun 21, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19377
    antipodean exile, Jun 21, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19378
    antipodean exile, Jun 21, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    please log in to view this image
     
    #19379
    antipodean exile, Jun 21, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    29,403
    Likes Received:
    27,588
    When I was about 9 years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a friend of his, someone who I didn't even know.

    When we got there, I stayed in a corner waiting for the time to pass.

    Then a man approached me and said, 'Enjoy life kid, be happy because time flies.

    Then he passed his hand over my head and left.

    My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person.

    When I looked in the coffin, I was horrified to see that the man in the coffin was the same man who had just spoken to me!

    I was so traumatized I couldn't sleep properly.

    I had terrible nightmares. I was terrified of being alone.

    I couldn't sleep without a night light for many

    years.

    I saw many psychologists, endured much turmoil throughout my adolescent years.

    It got better as I aged, but I would still occasionally wake up screaming in fear.

    Years later, I discovered something incredible that changed my life.

    The dead bastard had a twin!
     
    #19380
    antipodean exile, Jun 21, 2021
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
Page 969 of 1507

Share This Page