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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
     
    #19061
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    The major difference between men and women is when a woman says: "Smell this", it's usually nice.
     
    #19062
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19063
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19064
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19065
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19066
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19067
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19068
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19069
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19070
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19071
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19072
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19073
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19074
  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19075
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19076
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19077
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    An Elderly Irish lady visits her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.
    What about trying Viagra?” asked the doctor.
    Not a chance” she replied. “He won’t even take an aspirin.
    Not a problem,” said the doctor. “Give him an Irish Viagra.
    What on Earth is Irish Viagra?” she asked.
    It’s Viagra dissolved in his morning cup of coffee. He won’t even taste it.
    Let me know how it goes,” he said. She called the doctor the very next afternoon.
    How did it go?” he asked.
    Oh Jesus Doctor, it was terrible. Just horrid, I tell ya! I’m beside myself!
    Oh, no! What in the world happened?” asked the doctor
    Well, I did the deed, Doctor, just as you advised.
    I put the Viagra in his morning coffee, and he drank it.
    Well, you know, it took effect almost immediately, and he jumped straight up out of his chair with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and his pants a-bulging.
    Then, with one fierce swoop of his arm, he sent the cups, saucers, and everything else that was on the table flying across the room ripped my clothes to tatters and passionately took me then and there, right on top of the table. T’was a nightmare, I tell ya, an absolute nightmare!
    Why so terrible?” asked the doctor. “Wasn’t the sex good?
    Freakin jaysus, it was the best sex I’ve had in me last 25 years, but sure as I’m sittin’ here, Doctor… I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!
     
    #19078
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19079
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #19080
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