Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #18881
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  2. Wooperts_duck

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  3. Wooperts_duck

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  4. Wooperts_duck

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  5. Wooperts_duck

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  6. Wooperts_duck

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  7. Wooperts_duck

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  8. antipodean exile

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  9. antipodean exile

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    #18889
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  10. antipodean exile

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    #18890
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  11. antipodean exile

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  12. antipodean exile

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  13. antipodean exile

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  14. antipodean exile

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  15. antipodean exile

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    #18895
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  16. antipodean exile

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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time."
    When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food.. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf.
    She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it.
    "Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day"
    Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed!
    Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse, and one of them said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?"
    The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the window sill while he was licking his bum”
     
    #18897
  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #18898
  19. antipodean exile

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    #18899
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  20. antipodean exile

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    #18900
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