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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17781
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17783
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    “Doctor, I woke up this morning with this big lump on my left side.”

    Doctor:“Does your wife know you feel this way about her?”
     
    #17784
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I called the coastguard told them I had fallen out of my boat into the ocean.

    They said "Can you be more Pacific"
     
    #17785
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17786
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17787
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17788
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17789
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I saw someone waving at me the other day but I wasn’t sure if they were waving at me or someone else so I ignored them.

    In other news I lost my job as a lifeguard.
     
    #17790
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17791
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17792
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17793
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Can't believe the amount of people that don't understand erectile dysfunction!


    I mean, it's not that hard......
     
    #17794
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Being one of the few Asians in Glasgow, I'm often asked "what's a Hindu?".

    Why does everyone look puzzled when I reply "lay eggs"?
     
    #17795
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17796
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17797
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17798
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I went to a ventriloquist’s funeral today, and they sang the hymn

    “All Things Gright And Geautikal !”
     
    #17799
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #17800

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