I went to fish restaurant recently and ordered the Octopus. The waiter said: "It takes 4 hours to cook." I said: "Why?" He said: "Because it keeps turning the gas off."
Bad day today, I failed my driving test on the Highway Code. The Instructor said to me, “If you are going down a country road what signs are you likely to see?" I said, “Eggs for sale, pick your own strawberries and free manure”.
To encourage me to eat when i was young my mother would put food on a spoon and say "here comes the train, here comes the train". It always worked because she wouldn't untie me from the track until i'd eaten it!
