Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster: The Great Composers! "I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone. "I gotta be Mozart," replied Willis "What about you, Arnie?" they asked............"I'll be Bach !"
An Irishman goes to the doctor, who after examining him says “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. “So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks, “Do I have to take them every day?” No,” replies the doctor, “take one on the Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on the Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that. “Two weeks later the doctor is walking down the street, and he sees the patient’s wife.“Hello Mrs Murphy,” he says, “how’s your husband?” “Oh he died of a heart attack,” says Mrs Murphy. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor, “I thought if he took those tablets he would be all right.” “Oh the tablets were fine,” says Mrs Murphy, “It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!”
