The irate wife asked her husband, "Did you sleep with that woman next door?" He calmly replied,"No Darling, not a wink!"
A Woman went Christmas shopping with her husband after a while he wandered off when she couldn't find him she rang him and said "where are you?" In a quiet voice he said "do you remember that jewellers where about 5yrs ago you fell in love with that diamond necklace, at the time we couldn't afford it but I promised you one day I'd go back and get it for you?" Her eyes filled with tears and she croaked "yes" he said "well I'm in the pub next door"
