If I want to know if it’s hot enough to remove my clothing at the beach, I’ll listen to the Stripping Forecast
'I keep having this recurring nightmare when Donald Trump is trying to make me give blood, and the problem is I can’t stand the prick.'
Can any-one help me please. Apparently all our clocks have to go back next weekend. Trouble is - I can't remember where I bought mine from
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s*it?"
