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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15283
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A bloke is sitting in the bar at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down next to him. He presumes, because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off duty flight attendant.

    So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for thereby impressing her greatly . He leans across to her and says the Delta Airline motto: "We love to fly and it shows".

    The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: "Winning the hearts of the world". Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

    Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: "Going beyond expectations".

    The woman looks at him sternly and says: "What the f**k do you want?"

    "Ah!" he says, sitting back with a smile on his face... Ryanair!
     
    #15284
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Germans are getting worried about Covid-19.

    They are putting their towels on hospital beds.
     
    #15286
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  8. Wooperts_duck

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  9. Wooperts_duck

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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Wife has just told me she has broken the satnav and wants £150 for a new one.

    She can get lost....
     
    #15290
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  11. antipodean exile

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  12. antipodean exile

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  13. antipodean exile

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  14. antipodean exile

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  15. antipodean exile

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  16. antipodean exile

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  17. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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