1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

Page 650 of 1814
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    How much does it cost pirates to get their ears pierced?

    About a buccaneer.
     
    #12981
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 8, 2020
    devonFRATTONiser and antipodean exile like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    My mate who owns a funeral parlour was on the way in his hearse to a funeral down the M4...

    Police pulled him over and gave him a ticket.....

    He got done for Undertaking
     
    #12982
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 8, 2020
    antipodean exile likes this.
  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12983
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12984
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12985
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12986
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.

  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12987
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12988
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12989
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12990
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12991
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    I have a 24 pack of Aldi toilet rolls.

    Looking to swap for a 4 bedroom house.
     
    #12992
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2020
    antipodean exile likes this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12993
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2020
    antipodean exile likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12994
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2020
    antipodean exile likes this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12995
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2020
    antipodean exile likes this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12996
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2020
    antipodean exile likes this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12997
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2020
    antipodean exile likes this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,000
    Likes Received:
    293,624
    Doing my weekly shop in Asda today. I was horrified to find they had no toilet paper at all.

    Reluctantly I headed for the checkout and asked if they had any. A firm NO was the answer.

    Walking back to the toilets with my pants and trousers around my ankles was a walk of shame
     
    #12998
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2020
  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12999
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,553
    Likes Received:
    33,762
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13000
    antipodean exile, Mar 9, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
Page 650 of 1814

Share This Page