Job at the FBI The FBI had an opening for an assassin . After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife..' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.' Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the bloody chair.'
There was an ABBA tribute band playing in our town centre today. You could hear the drums from Nandos.....
One day two brothers, Jack & John decide to go out diving for seafood. They quickly manage to fill up a sack of seafood so Jack decides to take it back to shore & grab another sack to fill. John is out at sea all by himself when he see's a shark coming towards him. Frantically he calls out to his brothr Jack who is still at shore, "Bro Help me Help me there is a shark heading straight for me." Jack calls back "Yeah Im coming bro" John is freaking out, the shark swims right up to him & bites off his leg. Again he is calling out to Jack who is still at the shoreline "Bro come and help me, the sharks bitten off one of my legs. Jack yells back "yeah hold on Im coming!!" John tries to stay calm and wait for his brother but then the shark bites off one of his arms. He yells back to his brother Jack "Hurry!! Come and help me the shark has bitten off my arm and my leg." Jack calls back "Hold on Im coming!!!" Then the shark bites off his other leg, John yells "Jack you have to come & save me. The shark has bitten off both my legs and an arm." And as usual Jack replies. "Just wait Im coming" The shark then bites off Johns other arm. Now John has no arms or legs. His brother finally arrives to save him. Come on bro, get on my back & I will swim you back to shore. When they get to the shoreline Jack says with an exhausted sigh "I feel f*cked" And John replies "Well I had to hold on some how!!!"
