‘Christ, I did some stupid **** as as a teenager’ says a 35 year old Greta Thunberg as she loads her five kids in to the Range Rover to drive to the airport on holiday.
Had my face printed onto some custom made wall paper and started to put it up in the toilet. The wife said "what the f*ck, take it down I don't want to see your ugly mush watching me everytime I'm on the loo" I said "don't stop me now I'm on a roll"
My enormously obese wife was moaning again about how bad her stretch marks look. As she ate another large wedge of cake, I said, "I have to agree, you're the only person I've ever seen that has them around their mouth."
I've been self isolating since I was 15 and masturbating about 7 times daily. Yes, I have the Aloneavirus
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 survivors; Damian, Darren and Deirdre. They manage to swim to a small island and they lived there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do. After several years of casual sex, all the time, Deirdre felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing. She felt having sex with both Damian and Darren was so bad that she killed herself. It was tragic but Damian and Darren managed to get through it and, after a while, nature once more took its inevitable course. Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So they buried Deirdre.
So, I was in the chemist and I said to the assistant, "What gets rid of coronavirus?” She said, "Ammonia cleaner." I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here!"
