Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man has been shot 200 times with an upholstery gun!

    Surgeons say " He is fully recovered now".
     
    #12761
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  2. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    That's so bad it's brilliant !
     
    #12762
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just been to a ventriloquist's funeral - they sang the hymn "All Things Gright And Geautikal!"
     
    #12763
  4. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    :headbang:
     
    #12764
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  5. Wooperts_duck

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    #12765
  6. Wooperts_duck

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    The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.

    His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year -- maybe on your anniversary."

    The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"

    His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
     
    #12766
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  7. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member
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    I want that one
     
    #12767
  8. Wooperts_duck

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    #12768
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  9. Wooperts_duck

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    #12769
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  10. antipodean exile

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  11. antipodean exile

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  12. antipodean exile

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  13. antipodean exile

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  14. antipodean exile

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  15. antipodean exile

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  16. antipodean exile

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  17. Wooperts_duck

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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