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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    What's the best number of Roses to give the girlfriend for Valentine's Day?
    6? 12? 24? .........

    Or the whole tin?
     
    #12701
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12702
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12703
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12704
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Reopening of fishing at Chernobyl

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    #12705
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12706
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Spending my Valentines day outside a restaurant shouting "WELL YOU MOVED ON PRETTY QUICKLY!" to random couples walking in.
     
    #12707
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12708
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12709
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12710
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12711
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans, but was told by the clerk, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat foot to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat." So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food. . . . The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof. So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food. . . .One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and exclaimed, "That smells like crap." . . . The lady replied, "It is. I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."
     
    #12712
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12713
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12714
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12715
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  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12716
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  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12717
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  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12718
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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12719
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12720
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