Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
A father is washing the car with his son. After a moment, the son asks his father, "Do you think we could use a sponge instead?"
My new girlfriend's car got a flat tyre as we were on our way to see my parents, so I called them up and said, "Sorry Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture." "Oh Simon," she sighed. "I thought you had a real one this time!"
