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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12021
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12022
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Woop''s How could you..................after our exchange of Christmas Cheer - have you forgotten how to spell LIVERPOOL...........
     
    #12023
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Umm, it was a slip of the tongue......I'd had a few drinks........I was sozzled........I didn't know what I was doing........It is funny though, isn't it ?!.........and after all, you were born in Pompey !!! :1980_boogie_down:
     
    #12024
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12025
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12026
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    URGENT NEW HOME WANTED !!!!!
    This is bella, she’s an 8 week-old German Sheppard puppy, I bought her as a surprise for my wife for Christmas but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so I am now urgently looking to find her a new home I don't want any money just free to a good home.
    Her name is Tracy shes 39 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, she is a great cook, good with kids and always keeps a clean house.


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    #12027
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12028
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12029
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12030
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12031
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12032
  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    The wound is healing Woops and the fact that both of our sides are creeping up the table makes for a happier New Year - <smooch>:emoticon-0103-cool:
     
    #12033
  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Q: Did you hear about the morning-after pill for men

    A: It changes your blood group
     
    #12034
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  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    I'm emotionally constipated.
    I haven't given a s**t in days.
     
    #12035
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  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay.
    She said she didn't have time.
     
    #12036
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  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    What's the definition of a surprise?
    A fart with a lump in it.
     
    #12037
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  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again.
     
    #12038
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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic.
    I refused. If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
     
    #12039
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12040
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