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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Aldi's Kevin the Carrot jigsaw for sale £10

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    #11801
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 8, 2019
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11802
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 8, 2019
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11803
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 8, 2019
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11804
    antipodean exile, Dec 9, 2019
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11805
    antipodean exile, Dec 9, 2019
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11806
    antipodean exile, Dec 9, 2019
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11807
    antipodean exile, Dec 9, 2019
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  8. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    I was involved in a game of Monopoly last night .

    I could tell it was Monopoly from the word Go .
     
    #11808
    Number 1 Jasper, Dec 9, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man died and went to Heaven.
    As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
    He asked, "What are all those clocks for?"
    St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."
    "Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
    "That's Mother Teresa's", replied St. Peter.
    "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
    "Incredible", said the man.
    "And whose clock is that one?"
    St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
    The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life."
    "Where's Donald Trump's clock?" asked the man.
    St. Peter replied, up there, "We're using it as a ceiling fan.
     
    #11809
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 9, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11810
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 9, 2019
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11811
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11812
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11813
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  14. antipodean exile

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    #11814
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  15. antipodean exile

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    #11815
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  16. antipodean exile

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    #11816
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  17. antipodean exile

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    #11817
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  18. antipodean exile

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    #11818
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  19. antipodean exile

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    #11819
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11820
    antipodean exile, Dec 10, 2019
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