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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    After finding 3 mars bars , 2 snickers , and 4 packets of m+m's

    I realised i wasn't cut out to be a bounty hunter.........
     
    #10561
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar.
    • The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.
    • "Y"ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back hame.
    • Why, in Glasgow there"s a wee bar called McTavish"s.
    • Now, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he will buy the 5th drink for you."
    • "Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first two."
    • "Ahhh, that"s nuttin," said the Irishman.
    • "Back home in Dublin there"s O"Driscoll"s Bar.
    • Now, the moment you set foot in the place they"ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like.
    • Then, when you"ve had enough drinks, they"ll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
    • "Wow," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
    • "Not me, myself, personally, no," said the Irishman "but it happened to me sister!"
     
    #10562
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • NEWSFLASH!
    • Reports are coming in that the Irish branch of Al Qaeda have today hijacked the Goodyear Blimp.
    • According to eye witness accounts, the bastards have bounced off Canary Wharf three times in the last hour.
     
    #10563
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #10574
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10575
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  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • I hear that the credit crunch is even affecting fairgrounds.
    • My friend"s a dodgems operator and he lost his job this morning.
    • He"s suing for funfair dismissal.
     
    #10576
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  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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