Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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- I would die for my country...
- Unlike the French...
- Who would dye their flag white for their country.
Two young heffers in a field.
Neither had yet been milked.
One was due to be milked for the first time that day.
When she got back, the other one asked how it went.
"Oh! that dirty farmer", said the one who'd just had her first milking.
"He took me into this room and grabbed hold of my tits"
The other young heffer looked horrified and said.....
"Really? How DAIRY!"
Neither had yet been milked.
One was due to be milked for the first time that day.
When she got back, the other one asked how it went.
"Oh! that dirty farmer", said the one who'd just had her first milking.
"He took me into this room and grabbed hold of my tits"
The other young heffer looked horrified and said.....
"Really? How DAIRY!"
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woopsie and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to s*it yourself when I tell you the price.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to s*it yourself when I tell you the price.
My wife has been missing since she took the dog for a walk yesterday lunchtime and I'm really starting to worry about her.
She could be trapped or injured somewhere or worse still, someone could have taken her and she might be in danger.
If anyone can help, she's a brindle staffy puppy called Roxy, and she has a name tag.
She could be trapped or injured somewhere or worse still, someone could have taken her and she might be in danger.
If anyone can help, she's a brindle staffy puppy called Roxy, and she has a name tag.