- My wife suggested I take her out one night
- Unfortunately, she meant for dinner.
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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- A man and a woman went to court disputing over custody of their child.
- The Judge asked the woman to rise and argue her case.
- "I went through all the pain undergoing labour and I see no reason why the child"s custody should not be handed to me", she pleaded.
- The man replied, "Your Honour, let me put it this way.
- If you put a dollar in a vending machine and a coke drops out, who"s would it be... the machines or yours?"
On their way home after the group stages:
Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Tunisia, Morocco, Nigeria.
Conclusion:
Praying 5 times a day is a complete waste of f*cking time.
Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Tunisia, Morocco, Nigeria.
Conclusion:
Praying 5 times a day is a complete waste of f*cking time.
- My daughter had a charades party for her birthday.
- After my turn I was beaten up by the other dads.
- It would seem, that holding my cock and w**king, furiously, while staring at my daughters friends is not the best way to do Gary glitter.
- A friend of mine tried to talk to me into going to a party tonight.
- "Come on," he said, "you might meet the woman of your dreams."
- I said no. I"m not sure I want to be seen in public with that filthy slut
There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die.
No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off."
The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off."
The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
F*cking hate public toilets when you go in and a vegan has left a floater!
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Can't believe the Weight Watchers website asks me to accept cookies......