Off Topic Jokes thread

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Keir Starmer decided he'd start walking to Parliament everyday, at the same street corner, he would pass a hooker.
He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
“One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout.
"No! Five pounds!" he said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.
This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.
She'd yell "One,, hundred and fifty pounds!" He'd yell back "Five pounds!"
One day, Angela Rayner decided to accompany her boss and as the couple neared the hooker's corner he became even more apprehensive than usual.
Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.
Then, the hooker yelled "See what you by get for five pounds, you cheap bastard!"
 
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One day, Superman, Pinocchio and Snow White are walking along a road.
They pass a gym with a sign saying.
"Worlds strongest man competition today... free entry".
Superman goes in and 10 mins later comes out with a big trophy and a massive smile on his face after being announced the winner.
A little further on, they see an exhibition hall with a sign outside which say's.
"Beauty pagent today... "
So in walks Snow White.
Fifteen minutes later Snow White comes out with a diamond tiara and a sash announcing the most beautiful woman ever.
Both Superman and Snow White are elated.
Again, they all carried on.
Soon they come across a shop with a sign.
"Worlds biggest liar competition".
In walks Pinocchio, strutting his stuff.
Three minutes later he emerges, distraught and crying.
When asked why he was so upset he asked.
"Who the Fiddlesticks is Kier Starmer?"
 
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