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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member
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    If only such bins were available <laugh>
     
    #34641
  2. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member
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    That result was absolute karma.
    Liverpool put their 2nd XI on the pitch and their 3rd XI on the bench.

    That's what happens when you disrespect the cup and your opponents.
    Well done Argyle.
    I'm sure the green army will make more noise at the Etihad than the plastic home support
     
    #34642
  3. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member
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    <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh> Brilliant
     
    #34643
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    "Valentine poems/quotes"

    1. My love, you take my breath away.
    What have you stepped in to smell this way?
    2. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
    This describes everything you are not.
    3. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
    But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
    4. I thought that I could love no other
    that is until I met your brother.
    5. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
    empty and so is your head.
    6. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
    But don't take that paper bag off your face.
    7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
    Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
    8. I see your face when I am dreaming.
    That's why I always wake up screaming.
    9. My feelings for you no words can tell,
    Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
    10. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
    Two parts vodka, one part lime.
     
    #34644
  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    When you remember Liverpool rested all their players to get knocked out of the FA Cup at Plymouth, just so they could draw with Everton
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    #34645
  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Harry Redknapp is having a dispute with Tottenham Hotspur after being handed a letter for an unpaid electricity bill at the Spurs training facilities for £15,000.

    After ringing the club and saying that there must have been a mistake he was informed that he was the last person to enter the trophy room in 2008 and left the light on.

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    #34647
  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #34648
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #34649
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #34650
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #34651
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've been ripped off, I've paid a carpenter to make me a double bed and he's done a bunk!
     
    #34653
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #34655
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Separated at birth?
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    #34656
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #34659
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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