Off Topic Jokes thread
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After seeing one of those adverts on TV saying I could house, feed, school and clothe a child in Africa for just £3 a week I thought f*ck it and sent my little lad there, it's saving me a fortune!
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A Woman Sends a Text to Her Husband
“Honey, don't forget to buy BREAD when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie greets you.”
Husband: Who is Valerie?
Wife: Nobody, I just wanted you to answer, to have confirmation that you saw my text.
Husband: But I’m with Valerie right now, I thought you saw me?
Wife: What??! Where are you?
Husband: Near the bakery.
Wife: Wait, I’m coming right now!
After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message:
Wife: I’m at the bakery, where are you?
Husband: I’m at work. Now that you’re at the bakery , buy the bread !
“Honey, don't forget to buy BREAD when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie greets you.”
Husband: Who is Valerie?
Wife: Nobody, I just wanted you to answer, to have confirmation that you saw my text.
Husband: But I’m with Valerie right now, I thought you saw me?
Wife: What??! Where are you?
Husband: Near the bakery.
Wife: Wait, I’m coming right now!
After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message:
Wife: I’m at the bakery, where are you?
Husband: I’m at work. Now that you’re at the bakery , buy the bread !
While I was down in Devon on the weekend I went to an archaeology party.
They were excavating and searching for a lower leg.
It was quite a shindig!
They were excavating and searching for a lower leg.
It was quite a shindig!