It's been the first few days of the Olympics. The Romanians have already taken gold, silver, bronze, copper and lead......
My local amateur dramatics society is to perform ‘The History of Hovis’. I’ve been invited to play a roll.
I asked an elderly man why he was using 2 massive frozen chips as walking sticks. He said … “They're McCains!”
I went into my local Chinese takeaway last night and got talking to the owner of the shop. 'What you do for a riving, then?', he said. 'What do I do for a living, you mean?' 'Yes..' 'I'm a comedian', I replied. 'Go on then, change colour', he chuckled. 'No! I'm not a flipping chameleon, I'm a comedian' 'Oh right, tell me joke then. Make me raff', he said. Just then in the kitchen, I noticed his wok was on fire with my meal in it. 'Wok! Wok!', I shouted. 'Who's dare..', he said. Frig this, I thought. I'm off to the Indian
I think my wife is having an affair...... For two years she claims to have been going to classes, yet still can't speak a word of Zumba!
