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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #30021
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I had sex for 3 hours last night.....

    We role played as doctor and patient, and I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 58 minutes.
     
    #30022
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #30024
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  7. Wooperts_duck

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  8. antipodean exile

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    #30028
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  9. antipodean exile

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  10. antipodean exile

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  11. antipodean exile

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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A nun and priest were having a game of darts and they got their friend Stan to score for them
    So the sister, s on the okie she throws her first arrow
    "Double top " second another double top she wanted that treble so bad
    So with all her might she threw the third bam!!! Hit the wire bounced off and hit her so deep in her eye it killed her
    Stan takes a good look and shouts
    "One nundead and eighteeee"
     
    #30032
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

    He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!'

    Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!'
     
    #30033
  14. Wooperts_duck

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    #30034
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    De
     
    #30035
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Little Billy was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her
    "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
    She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
    Little Billy said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids.
    A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."
     
    #30036
  17. Wooperts_duck

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    I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgasm.

    She said she doesn’t like to bother me when I’m at work.
     
    #30037
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  18. antipodean exile

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    #30038
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  19. antipodean exile

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    #30039
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  20. antipodean exile

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