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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27841
    antipodean exile, Sep 25, 2023
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27842
    antipodean exile, Sep 25, 2023
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27843
    antipodean exile, Sep 25, 2023
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27844
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2023
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Tyrone was having trouble in school. His teacher was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone. Can't you learn anything?

    One day Tyrone's mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated and ignorant boy in her entire teaching career. Tyrone's mom, shocked at the feedback, withdrew her son from school, moved out of Detroit, and relocated to Cleveland.

    Thirty years later, the teacher was diagnosed with irreversible cardiac disease. Her doctors all strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, which only one surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was remarkably successful.

    When she opened her eyes after the surgery the teacher saw the handsome young doctor who headed her surgical team smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue; she raised her hand trying to tell him something but quickly died. The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly. When the doctor turned around to leave the room, he saw that Tyrone, now a janitor at the Clinic, had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to plug in his vacuum cleaner.

    If you thought that Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon, there is a high likelihood that you voted for Trump.
     
    #27845
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2023
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27846
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2023
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27847
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2023
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27848
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2023
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27849
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2023
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27850
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2023
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    2023 ISIS Bride of the Year Competition competitors assembling in their bathing suits.

    There’s a couple of clear winners there…..

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    #27851
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2023
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The funeral for the man that invented Tupperware, was delayed while they tried to find the right lid for his coffin.
     
    #27852
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2023
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #27853
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2023
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27854
    antipodean exile, Sep 27, 2023
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  15. antipodean exile

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    #27855
    antipodean exile, Sep 27, 2023
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  16. antipodean exile

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    #27856
    antipodean exile, Sep 27, 2023
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    #27857
    antipodean exile, Sep 27, 2023
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  18. antipodean exile

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    #27858
    antipodean exile, Sep 27, 2023
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  19. antipodean exile

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    #27859
    antipodean exile, Sep 27, 2023
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  20. antipodean exile

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    #27860
    antipodean exile, Sep 27, 2023
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