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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27061
    antipodean exile, May 28, 2023
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27062
    antipodean exile, May 28, 2023
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27063
    antipodean exile, May 28, 2023
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #27064
    Wooperts_duck, May 29, 2023
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #27065
    Wooperts_duck, May 29, 2023
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to see my doctor this morning.
    "How can I help you?" she asked.
    "I found a lump while I was in the bath," I replied, pointing downwards.
    "Oh right," she said, "Take your trousers down for me."
    After having a good old feel of my bollocks for a few minutes, she said, "I can't feel a lump."
    I said, "It's on my toe."
     
    #27066
    Wooperts_duck, May 29, 2023
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I viewed a woman's profile on a dating site back in the day :
    Blonde 33 From London Great Personality 5ft 3 green eyes.
    Don't get me wrong, I like short girls, but 3 green eyes?
    No wonder she can't find a bloke.
     
    #27067
    Wooperts_duck, May 29, 2023
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27068
    Last edited: May 29, 2023
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27069
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27070
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27071
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27072
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27073
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    An 80-year-old man goes for a physical.
    All of his tests come back with normal results.
    The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great.
    How are you doing mentally and emotionally?
    Are you at peace with God?'
    George replies, 'God and I are tight.
    He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!
    The light goes on.
    When I'm done, poof!
    The light goes off.'
    'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.
    A little later in the day, the
    Doctor calls George's wife.
    'Ethel,' he says, 'George is doing fine!
    But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God.
    Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof!
    The light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof!
    The light goes off?'
    'Oh my God!' Ethel exclaims.
    'He's pissing in the fridge again!
     
    #27074
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27075
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  16. antipodean exile

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    #27076
    antipodean exile, May 29, 2023
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #27077
    Wooperts_duck, May 29, 2023
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #27078
    Wooperts_duck, May 29, 2023
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #27079
    Wooperts_duck, May 29, 2023
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #27080
    Wooperts_duck, May 29, 2023
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