Stairs to new Ladies and Gents toilets at Wetherspoons, Isle of Wight please log in to view this image
Me, behave? Seriously? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrive home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies. The fault is not mine!
Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods meet at a fund raiser. Woods turns to Wonder and says: "How is the singing career going?" Stevie Wonder replies: "Not too bad! How's the golf?" Woods replies: "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now." Stevie Wonder says: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right. Tiger Woods says: "You play golf?" Stevie Wonder says: "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years." Woods says: "But, you're blind. How can you play golf if you're blind?" Wonder replies: "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice." "But, how do you putt?", asks Woods. "Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice." Woods asks: "What's your handicap?" Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer." Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie: "We've got to play a round sometime." Wonder replies: "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole." Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm game for that, when would you like to play?" Stevie says, "Pick a night."
Two rabbits escape from a research laboratory and find themselves in a field full of carrots, The rabbits cannot believe their luck and they begin eating until they fall asleep. The next day the young rabbit says to the old rabbit " I think it's time to head back to the lab". The old rabbit suggests they see whats in the next field, They find an entire field of cabbages and begin eating. The next day the young rabbit asks to go back to the lab, The old rabbit suggests seeing what is in the other field and once they crawl under the fence they find an entire field full of female rabbits. After an entire day of ****ing everything in sight the next day the old rabbit turns to the young rabbit and says " I think its time to head back to the lab" The young rabbit asks "Why the hell would you want to go back to the lab we have two fields full of vegetables and the other is filled with female rabbits what more could you want?!" The older rabbit replies, "I'm dying for a ***."
