Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely. I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay"as she likes to call it. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
My wife isn't much good at cooking instructions. Recipe said separate two eggs. She put one in the living room, and one in the hall.
Adverts saying that an African child has to walk 7 miles a day for fresh water have been on TV for over 30 years. Why doesn’t she just build her hut nearer the well ?
Husband’s call to his Wife :- "Honey it's me. I don't want to Alarm You, but I was Hit by a Car, as I was leaving the Office. Paula brought me straight to the Hospital”. “Honey, They have checked me all over and done some Tests and some X-Rays". "The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any Serious Internal Injury”. “However I have Three Broken Ribs, a Compound Fracture in the Left Leg, 32 Stitches in a Cut on my Right Arm, Severe Concussion, from the blow to my Head and they think they may have to Amputate my Right Foot." Wife’s Response :- * (Silence). * (Silence). * (Even Longer Pause). * "Who the ****’s, this Paula"..???
