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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #23201
    Wooperts_duck, May 16, 2022
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #23202
    Wooperts_duck, May 16, 2022
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #23203
    Wooperts_duck, May 16, 2022
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23204
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23205
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23206
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23207
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23208
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23209
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23210
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23211
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #23212
    antipodean exile, May 17, 2022
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #23213
    Wooperts_duck, May 17, 2022
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."
    The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
    St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
    He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
    St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.
    "Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
    "OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator ..."
     
    #23214
    antipodean exile, May 18, 2022
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  15. antipodean exile

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    #23215
    antipodean exile, May 18, 2022
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  16. antipodean exile

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    #23216
    antipodean exile, May 18, 2022
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  17. antipodean exile

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    #23217
    antipodean exile, May 18, 2022
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  18. antipodean exile

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    #23218
    antipodean exile, May 18, 2022
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  19. antipodean exile

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    #23219
    antipodean exile, May 18, 2022
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  20. antipodean exile

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    #23220
    antipodean exile, May 18, 2022
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