Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at River Hill Golf Club when a naked man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. The three ladies stand in awe at the size of his manhood. The first lady says, 'He is definitely not my husband.' The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, 'He is not mine either.' After a very considerable inspection, the third lady finally says, 'He's not even a member of this golf club'.
My girlfriend was putting sun cream on. "Do you mind doing my back?" she asked. "Let's pretend I'm your butler" I winked. "My name's Dawes." "Ok!" she giggled, "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?" And that was all the invitation I needed...
I went into my local pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The man said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I'm not fussed what star sign it is really"
There was a young man from Brighton Who thought he'd got hold of a tight'n. He said 'Oh my love it fits like a glove,' She said 'yes, but you're not in the right'n
