Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. . Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news. Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the manager?!? Doctor: Sure, we’ll do things your way. No need to raise your temper. Why don’t we try an astrology based approach? Karen: At last a sensible approach. Doctor: So, what’s your star sign? Karen: it’s cancer. Doctor: Well what a coincidence
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One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy. Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?'' "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband? The Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said "no" to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said "no" to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said "yes," you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said "yes" to George Clooney. And so the Lord let her keep him. The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it. Signed, All Us Women
A woman has a problem with her wardrobe door in the bedroom. Every time a bus passes outside the house, the door of the wardrobe, would fall off. She called a repairman to try and fix the problem. The repairman comes, and he sees that indeed the door did fall off every time a bus passed by. "Okay!" said the repairman, 'I'm going to step inside the wardrobe, you close the door behind me, till I see if I can detect what the problem is." And he steps into the wardrobe. The wife closes the door behind him. At this point the husband suddenly arrives home and finds his wife in the bedroom talking to someone. He rushes over and opens the wardrobe door, sees the repairman, and shouts, "What the hell are you doing in there?" The repairman meekly replies, "Well believe it or not, I’m waiting for a bus!"
