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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    antipodean exile, Jan 18, 2022
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    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    antipodean exile, Jan 18, 2022
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    antipodean exile, Jan 18, 2022
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    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    antipodean exile, Jan 18, 2022
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    antipodean exile, Jan 18, 2022
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    antipodean exile, Jan 18, 2022
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    > A MAN IS ALONE IN AN AIRPORT LOUNGE. A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WALKS IN AND
    > SITS DOWN AT THE TABLE NEXT TO HIM. HE IS ASSUMING THAT BECAUSE SHE
    > WEARS A UNIFORM, SHE'S PROBABLY AN OFF-DUTY FLIGHT ATTENDANT FOR
    > SOME AIRLINE.
    >
    > WANTING TO IMPRESS HER, HE DECIDES TO TRY IDENTIFYING THE AIRLINE FOR
    > WHICH SHE FLIES, THEREBY IMPRESSING HER.
    >
    > HE LEANS ACROSS TO HER AND SAYS THE BRITISH AIRWAYS MOTTO : "TO
    > FLY. TO SERVE"? THE WOMAN LOOKS AT HIM BLANKLY.
    >
    > HE LEANS FORWARD AGAIN AND DELIVERS THE AIR FRANCE MOTTO:
    > "WINNING THE HEARTS OF THE WORLD'? AGAIN, SHE JUST STARES AT
    > HIM WITH A SLIGHTLY PUZZLED LOOK ON HER FACE.
    >
    > UNDETERRED, HE TRIES AGAIN, THIS TIME SAYING THE MALAYSIAN AIRLINES
    > MOTTO: "GOING BEYOND EXPECTATIONS"?
    >
    > THE WOMAN LOOKS AT HIM STERNLY AND SAYS: “WHAT THE **** DO YOU
    > WANT?”
    >
    > “AHA! HE SAYS, "QANTAS!”
     
    #21908
    antipodean exile, Jan 18, 2022
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #21909
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 18, 2022
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Plymouth Argyle's new away kit for next season........<laugh>

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    #21910
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 18, 2022
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
    The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
    The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about.
     
    #21911
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 18, 2022
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  12. antipodean exile

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    #21912
    antipodean exile, Jan 18, 2022
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    #21913
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2022
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  14. antipodean exile

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    #21914
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2022
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    #21915
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2022
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    #21916
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2022
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    #21917
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2022
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    #21918
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2022
  19. antipodean exile

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    #21919
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2022
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  20. antipodean exile

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