Man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The clerks called 9 1 1 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank." "Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments, asked the irritated nun? He said, "I only have a spinster sister and she is a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God." The patient replied, "Perfect." "Send the bill to my brother-in-law!!..
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's bum was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me.
Hubby and I went to the cinema last night, we were more than surprised to see a woman with collie dog sat in front of us and even more surprised when the dog laughed at all the funny bits in the film. I tapped her on the shoulder and said: "I am amazed by your dog" She replied "So am I he hated the book".
