Mrs. O'Leary went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the new physicians. After about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out the door and ran screaming down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. O'Leary is 72 years old, she has seven grown children and ten grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
"Can you get some bleach, washing powder and some shake and vac while you're out?" My wife asked. "Can you not wait until you’ve opened your presents tomorrow?" I replied.
RACING NEWS A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had bought it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race his mule came in second. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline: PREACHER’S ASS SHOWS The preacher was so pleased he entered the mule in another race. This time it won, and the paper said: PREACHERS ASS OUT IN FRONT The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER’S ASS This was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The next day he gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN The bishop told the nun that she would dispose of the animal and she finally found a farmer who would take the donkey off her hands for ten bucks. The paper said: NUN PEDDLED ASS FOR TEN BUCKS They buried the bishop the next day.
A Man goes into a Bakers and asks for 2 Bread Rolls..?? The Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in a Paper Bag, He then asks for 2 Cakes the Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in the Bag. The Man says :- "It’s nice to see you don’t Handle the Food".. The Shop Man says :- "Nothing in my Shop is Handled by Human Hand".. He then noticed a Piece of String hanging out of the Shop Man's Trousers and asks :- "What is that Piece of String for"..??? The Shop Man says :- "When I need a Piss. I just pull on the String and it Pops Out".. "That’s OK" Says the man. "But how do you put it Back"..??? "That’s No Problem", says the Shop Man. "I just Use the TONGS".. please log in to view this image
