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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  2. antipodean exile

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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #21144
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  8. Wooperts_duck

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    #21148
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they had become loose and floppy.
    Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed.
    Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.
    "I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
    The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him.
    "I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself."
    "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
    "And what about the third rose?" she asked.
    "That's from a man in the burns unit - he wanted to thank you for his new ears."
     
    #21150
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was just thinking.........a message to all husbands out there........

    If you forget your wife's birthday all you have to say to her is: 'How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you don't look any older'
     
    #21153
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  15. antipodean exile

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  16. antipodean exile

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  17. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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