Off Topic Jokes thread
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Who do you think will replace Brucie?
I reckon it will be Larry Grayson
So let's have a look at the old scoreboard.......
Well, Newcastle Utd have got 0 points and Crystal Palace have got 3 points!
I reckon it will be Larry Grayson
So let's have a look at the old scoreboard.......
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Well, Newcastle Utd have got 0 points and Crystal Palace have got 3 points!
A widow and widower lived next door to each other. They had been neighbours for over 30 years, but each had lost their spouse not too long ago. Over a number of weeks, they had become close. One day, the man asked the woman if she enjoyed fishing.
Yes, she replied, she used to enjoy fishing with her late husband. The man agreed to pick her up at 6 a.m. the next morning. They went down to the river at the time they decided the next day, and began fishing.
After a while, the man began to move the boat upstream. They came to a fork in the river and the man asked the woman, "Up or down." Being nice, he wanted to let her decide.
The woman looked around, promptly took off all her clothes and jumped on the old man. They had passionate sex. After a while, they redressed and resumed fishing.
Later in the day, they came to another fork in the river. Again, the man asked, "Up or down," and once again the woman stripped and another round of passionate sex commenced.
That evening, upon arriving home, the man asked the woman if she would like to go fishing again the next day. The woman agreed. A little after 6 a.m. the next morning, they got to the river.
As they came across that first fork in the river, the hopeful man asked the lady, "Up or down."
"Down," the woman replied.
A little surprised, the man headed that way. After a morning of fishing, they got to another fork. "Up or down," the man asked.
"Up," the woman said.
"Wait a minute," the man said. "Yesterday, when I asked that question, you took all your clothes off and we had passionate sex. What's going on?"
"Well," the woman replied, "yesterday, I forgot my hearing aid and I thought you said "**** or Drown!'"
Yes, she replied, she used to enjoy fishing with her late husband. The man agreed to pick her up at 6 a.m. the next morning. They went down to the river at the time they decided the next day, and began fishing.
After a while, the man began to move the boat upstream. They came to a fork in the river and the man asked the woman, "Up or down." Being nice, he wanted to let her decide.
The woman looked around, promptly took off all her clothes and jumped on the old man. They had passionate sex. After a while, they redressed and resumed fishing.
Later in the day, they came to another fork in the river. Again, the man asked, "Up or down," and once again the woman stripped and another round of passionate sex commenced.
That evening, upon arriving home, the man asked the woman if she would like to go fishing again the next day. The woman agreed. A little after 6 a.m. the next morning, they got to the river.
As they came across that first fork in the river, the hopeful man asked the lady, "Up or down."
"Down," the woman replied.
A little surprised, the man headed that way. After a morning of fishing, they got to another fork. "Up or down," the man asked.
"Up," the woman said.
"Wait a minute," the man said. "Yesterday, when I asked that question, you took all your clothes off and we had passionate sex. What's going on?"
"Well," the woman replied, "yesterday, I forgot my hearing aid and I thought you said "**** or Drown!'"