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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks.
    He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like hillbillies.
    The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license.
    The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain’t from West Virginia .
    This is a Kentucky duck.
    You got a Kentuckey huntin’ license, boy?” The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kentucky hunting license.
    The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Kentucky duck.
    This duck’s from Tennessee. You got an Tennessee license?”
    The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Tennessee license.
    The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said This ain’t no Tennessee duck. This here duck’s from Virginia. . You got a Virginia. huntin’ license?”
    Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a Virginia. hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly “Just where the hell are you from?
    “The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said “You tell me, you’re the expert!!”
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  3. antipodean exile

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  4. antipodean exile

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  5. antipodean exile

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  6. antipodean exile

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  7. antipodean exile

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  8. antipodean exile

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  9. antipodean exile

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  10. antipodean exile

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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just had a phone call from some woman saying that she had heard that I had been involved in an accident recently.

    “ What an amazing coincidence “ I said, “ yes, I bent down to tie my shoelaces this morning and followed through , how on earth did you know?”

    Just at that moment the phone went dead, so I suppose I will never know how she knew.
     
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  12. Wooperts_duck

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  13. Wooperts_duck

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  14. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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