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Jokes only understood by the scotch

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Null, Feb 12, 2014.

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  1. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Several years ago my Uncle was at a wedding in Morecambe and he decided to see if he could get a Sunday Mail form the local shop. When he asked hopefully if they had the Sunday Mail the woman said "NO, but we have Irn Bru".
     
    #21
    DevAdvocate, Feb 12, 2014
  2. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    What happened to the 'Is it a doughnut or a meringue?' joke?

    PS You get the messages thing in Dutch too.

    een boodschap = a message
    boodschappen doen = to do the messages
     
    #22
    Otto Flayshow, Feb 12, 2014
  3. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    It's "Coon's Age" <ok>
     
    #23
    DevAdvocate, Feb 12, 2014
  4. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Whit's the diff between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?

    Bing sings and Walt disney
     
    #24
    DevAdvocate, Feb 12, 2014
  5. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

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    Aye loon fae ye fae?

    <laugh>
     
    #25
    Patience, Feb 12, 2014
  6. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Bain the scullery.
     
    #26
    RAVENBLACK, Feb 12, 2014
  7. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Ken neebs
     
    #27
    DevAdvocate, Feb 12, 2014
  8. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
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    Is that yer Ayshire Bacon?

    Naw, am just warmin ma troosers!
     
    #28
    Null, Feb 12, 2014
  9. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Rubber bumpers.
     
    #29
    VenomPD, Feb 12, 2014
  10. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    foos yer doos?
     
    #30
    RAVENBLACK, Feb 12, 2014

  11. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
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    <laugh>

    Put in the back lowby!
     
    #31
    Null, Feb 12, 2014
  12. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    ah help ma kelt
     
    #32
    RAVENBLACK, Feb 12, 2014
  13. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Did you hear about the man in solitary confinement?

    He was in his cell
     
    #33
    DevAdvocate, Feb 12, 2014
  14. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    lobby is a crackin' word.

    same with cludgie.
     
    #34
    RAVENBLACK, Feb 12, 2014
  15. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Did you hear about the midget who died?

    He had a fit o coughin
     
    #35
    DevAdvocate, Feb 12, 2014
  16. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Gie us a swatch at yer fanny.
     
    #36
    VenomPD, Feb 12, 2014
  17. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
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    Where ye goan yer holidaiyz?

    Hame'll

    Hame'll?

    Aye, hame'll da may!
     
    #37
    Null, Feb 12, 2014
  18. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Come on southerners join in.
     
    #38
    RAVENBLACK, Feb 12, 2014
  19. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    What do you call a Glaswegian with a couch on his head?


    Lawrence of Partick
     
    #39
    DevAdvocate, Feb 12, 2014
  20. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
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    Dae ye like DUBYADUBYAE

    Aye, ah doo
     
    #40
    Null, Feb 12, 2014
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