Isn't it strange how really sexy women drive cute little cars? Which reminds me, why do the wifes of rovers fans drive Transits?
A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs. Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her 'little accident' and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "How much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna crap your pants when you hear what the price is."
So, Kerry Katona is pregnant. She was asked, "Do you know what sex it will be?" "Probably just anal for the next 9 months," she replied.
I just heard on the radio that more people are using marijuana than ever before.. It's an all time high
I won't be posting on here for a few months now....... My Mrs cooked a meal last night and "accidently" used daffodil bulbs as she claims she thought they were onions! They are quite dangerous to eat and I will be in this hostpital bed for months, but the doctors say I should be out in the spring..............
A young Arab lad asks his father ''what's this weird hat we wear?'' It's called a ''chechia''. In the desert it protects our heads from the sun. And what is this clothing we wear? It's a ''djbellah''. In the desert it is very hot and it protects your body. And what are these ugly shoes we have on our feet? These are ''babouches'' they keep us from burning our feet in the desert. Tell me Papa? Yes my son? Why the **** are we wearing them in Manchester???????
Local Muslims have opened a boxing gym at the end of our road. We've renamed the street, Mohammed Alley "80% of the people don't realise that they make spelling mistakes". I new it from a long time ago My wife says I'm a hopeless alcoholic. Nonsense. I'm bloody good at it
F.A.S.T they all thought it was about suffering a stroke...... Face, Has their face fallen on one side? Can they smile? Arms, Can they raise both arms and keep them there? Speech, Is their speech slurred? Time, Time to get her kit off the Rohypnols kicked in.
Mum, how should I dress up at Halloween this year?" "Just hang your GCSE results around your neck and go as a ****ing idiot."
