A guy goes swimming with his friend & when he takes his pants off , he has a pair of panties ( knickers I guess ) on . His friend nervously asked him how long he's been wearing panties . He says " Ever since my wife found them in the glove box "
One of the pandas has escaped from Edinburgh Zoo. The public are asked to be on the lookout but the zoo concedes there is little chance of finding her.................. a fat hairy female with two black eyes in central Scotland.
Found my Nan dead in her bed this morning, I was gutted. I put my arms round her and held her, as a tear rolled down my cheek, I noticed she was naked. One thing led to another and I ended up ****ing her, just as I was about to cum in her arse she shouted BOO! I mean come on, what sort of sick **** pretends to be dead?
Newly wed, Dai & Neris were looking at kitchen tables the cheapest was over £200 so Dai said I'll get one from the old junk shop and tart it up. At the shop there was a few tables there and Nerys liked the large one but it was stinking, Dai said don't worry love I'll clean it up and polish it, it will look great. As Dai was cleaning the grime from the table he noticed some wording around the sides so he cleaned it with gusto. When he had cleaned it all the read the words, this is what it said.. "Ask me the question I will tell you no lies" Dai thought thats a strange thing on a table but he thought he would try it out. "How many £20 notes do I have in my wallet" said Dai and the table went bang, bang.. Dai checked he has 2 £20 notes,. "How many £10 notes do I have" bang Dai had 1 £10 note "How many £5 notes do I have" bang, bang, bang. Again it was right Dai had £15 in £5 notes. So he thought for a second or two and asked "How many £20 notes does Nerys have ?" Bang, bang, bang, bang........... 210. Jesus said Dai, how the hell did she get all them? With that the legs split open and the drawers fell down.
I went out with an ugly girl last night. Back at her place, we were kissing and cuddling when she said "I never have sex on the first date" So I said "what about the last?"
